When someone you're close to pulls away…
I overthink and wonder what I did wrong.
I get distant too. I need space anyway.
I want to reach out and disappear at the same time.
I trust they’ll come back when they’re ready.
How do you usually respond to conflict?
I try to fix it right away - even if I’m not at fault.
I’d rather avoid it than get into a messy conversation.
I react emotionally, then pull away or shut down.
I can stay present and talk it through.
What’s your biggest fear in relationships?
Being rejected or left behind.
Losing my freedom or being “trapped.”
Being hurt and not knowing who to trust.
Losing connection during conflict - but I know we’ll work it out.
How do you feel about being emotionally vulnerable?
I need it - I want to feel close.
I’m not comfortable with it. I’d rather keep things surface-level.
I want it, but I also push people away without meaning to.
I can share when it feels right, and I respect others’ pace too.
When a relationship ends, what happens for you?
I obsess, blame myself, and want them back.
I feel relieved. I don’t like being tied down anyway.
I feel like I’m breaking apart and can’t function normally.
I feel sad but know I’ll be okay.
How do you handle emotional needs - yours and others’?
I put others’ needs above my own and feel drained.
I feel uncomfortable when people depend on me emotionally.
I switch between needing too much and shutting down completely.
I can show up without losing myself.
When you’re in a healthy relationship, you…
Still worry they’ll leave me or stop loving me.
Feel like I’m losing my independence or control.
Don’t fully trust it - it feels too good to be true.
Feel safe, seen, and free to be myself.
When your partner doesn’t respond to a message for hours, you…
Start spiraling - did I say something wrong?
Don’t really notice - I’m doing my own thing.
Panic internally but act like I don’t care.
Assume they’re busy and will reply when they can.
How do you feel about relying on someone emotionally?
I worry I’m being too much but still crave it.
I avoid it - I’d rather be self-sufficient.
I long for it, but I don’t believe anyone will truly show up for me.
I can lean in when needed and stand on my own when not.
When you feel triggered or upset, you…
Need immediate reassurance or connection.
Withdraw until I can “handle it” alone.
Get overwhelmed and either lash out or shut down.
Acknowledge the emotion and take steps to self-soothe or communicate.
What’s your relationship with boundaries?
I struggle to set them and often feel taken advantage of.
I set them rigidly and rarely compromise.
I want boundaries but don’t know how to keep them consistent.
I use boundaries as a way to feel safe and connected.
When someone gets close to you emotionally…
I get excited but worry they’ll leave.
I feel smothered and need space.
I want the closeness but sabotage it out of fear.
I welcome it and enjoy the connection.
How do you view long-term commitment?
I dream of it but fear it won’t last.
I’m wary - it feels like a loss of freedom.
I crave it deeply but don’t trust myself to choose well.
I value it when it’s with the right person and timing.
When a partner expresses frustration with you, you…
Immediately think it’s all your fault.
Feel criticised and emotionally check out.
Feel attacked and confused, unsure how to respond.
Try to understand their view and respond calmly.
What’s your ideal way to resolve an argument?
Reassurance, closeness, and lots of talking through it.
Time alone to think - then maybe circle back.
I want to fix it, but I often make it worse by trying.
Honest, respectful conversation and mutual understanding.
Based on your answers, which of these descriptions feels most like you?
I often obsess over relationships and fear abandonment.
I tend to withdraw and avoid emotional closeness.
I feel pulled between wanting connection and pushing it away.
I feel comfortable with both closeness and space.
Where should we send your personalised attachment style guide?
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